You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
