I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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