I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
