Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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