Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
