I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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