hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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