..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
