well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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