singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
