After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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