Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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