On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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