was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
