hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
