Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
