first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
