Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
