Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
