at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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