If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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