Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Never underestimate the power of titties
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