All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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