i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize