i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
