I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
