Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
