You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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