i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
