Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
