I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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