I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize