you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
