Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
