More tranny stories later!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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