I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize