While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
