dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
