Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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