you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
how drunk are you?
Several
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
