i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
