I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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