I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
