Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I would fuck him just for his dog
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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