Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
