Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
