shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
