Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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