How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
