the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
