I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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