$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
