Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
