Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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