Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
