I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize