Life is so much better after having sex.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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