We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
