Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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