Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
